Same emotions though worlds apart

David Matthews finds a comparison from an unlikely source

A regular favourite television series of mine has been ‘Saving Lives at Sea’ and a quote from one of the lifeboat crew has provided the starting off point for this piece. He felt that when any mission had been successfully accomplished the feeling of satisfaction was quite unique. Hardly fair to compare this life and death situation with rugby refereeing, but there was something about the words he chose that reminded me of the very best emotions which can be experienced at the end of a game that has gone perfectly for the referee.

Interestingly, most of those who devote such valuable time to the RNLI do so voluntarily, as is the case with the vast majority of those who take up the whistle. Maybe the concept of putting a lot more into a chosen pastime than a daily job has something to do with it, because the rewards, in most cases, have nothing to do with money. There the similarity ends.

You do know, as a referee, when you have had good game and the hour or so immediately afterwards is very special. Conversely, a less than hundred percent performance can make it a rather awkward period of time. Once, having refereed at Lydney and being obliged to share the changing room with the losing home team I was greeted with the post-match cup of tea and a cheery “hope it f***g chokes you.” No danger there of contenting oneself with thoughts of a job well done. More subtle, though equally pointed was a meeting, it could hardly be called a conversation, I had with someone, who must have been a parent, from the losers-Queen Elizabeth GS, Wakefield-following a match in a Super Tens Tournament at Sedbergh School; he approached as I walked back to the pavilion with a mysterious “Do you enjoy this, why do you do it?” It was merely the introduction to launching into a tirade on ruining games, so not much chance there of a ‘warm glow.’ Only ten minutes each way too, glad he hadn't watched me in a full game.

I must say that those were not normal occurrences from not normal people. A much happier memory is of the UAU Final at Twickenham 1994 when a 25-18 extra time win for Loughborough over Bristol seemed to please everyone, especially me. You often hear coaches and managers in all sports talking about how “it all came together.” The jigsaw pieces which make up the complete picture for the referee are exactly the same: above all-respect, calmness, avoidance of controversy, empathy with what the players are trying to achieve and, without displaying a permanent grin, appearing to be enjoying it.

You do hear comments from time to time to referees about “don't know how you do it,” not be confused with the inquiry from the man from Wakefield! In the case of the magnificent men and women who patrol our shores in their lifeboats it does put the duties of the referee in context.